Tonight felt amazing. I think my husband was a little hurt that running makes me feel so good. Guess he'll have a point to proove.
So far, the worry I had about using this simply for weight loss has been unfounded. I'm doing this to feel good and to feel strong. That's a healthy approach. I've used exercise previously to get very thin. This time, I don't care if I lose a pound or go down any sizes at all.
This is random, but I think important: somewhere along the line, I learned to only compete against myself. I really enjoy doing that with running. Upping the ante each run. I stuck to the 45 minutes again tonight and went faster and further than last night. I took the incline all the way up, and I allowed myself to go slower. If I took the incline down, I pushed myself to go faster. Then I let up for a few minutes, and did it all over again. But the important part is- I don't compare my exercise to what anyone else is doing. All that matters is that every day (or every few days)- I'm doing better than I personally had been doing.
Last thought of the evening- I like my approach to food when I'm running. As I've made painfully clear, I'm not a health nut. However, food as fuel becomes important when I need it to be. I want good energy. That's definitely positive.
So that's where I'm at in my head. Relieved I'm not turning this into a bad addiction. But it's still an addiction? If it is, I'm keeping this one.