Saturday, June 25, 2011

Can you believe it was a year ago?

We had a big birthday party today for my grandson's first birthday. Needless to say this year has felt like it's flown by. The baby is now a little boy, and my little girl is now a grown woman... oh, that's weird to say...

She really went to alot of trouble and planning to make this party special, and she did a terrific job. She insisted on making capcakes and frosting from scratch- which turned out delicious, but I think she's going to make things much simpler for herself with future birthday baking, etc...

It was a lovely day, but the mix of people was bizarre, and I'm an emotional cripple (ugh). Let's recap who was there? Baby's dad (who I have not seen in a year), his parents (who adopted him), his aunt (who is really his birth mother), her children, their grandparents (divorced), the grandfather's parents (about 100 years old), other aunts and cousins from the dad's side. Also in attendance was my daughter's dad (my ex-husband), my ex m-i-l-, my ex-husband's daughter (from the woman he cheated with), my in-laws (baby's step-grandparents), my sister & her family, my brother & his family, my husband's children (baby's step-aunt and step-uncle), a few other friends of my daughter's- and I think that's close to everyone.

Tonight my step-daughter and my ex-husband's daughter are having a sleepover in our downstairs family room together. Who would have guessed that scenario? Not me. This whole day was just so strange- and I did my shut down thing again. I really hate that. I wish I didn't get that way because I looked pretty good, my career is awesome, I have a fabulous husband, and everything about the party was wonderful. It would make more sense to take the perfect opportunity to go around and gloat- but I just emotionally retreat. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

I was overwhelmed and I've been absolutely exhausted this week. Trying to knock stuff out of the ball park at work. I got an email from the recruiter for the job I interviewed for, and also from the VP who flew me out- both saying they were just checking references. Which I assume means that they are going to offer me the job? Well, as long as my references are favorable, and they WILL be good. My current boss is completely supportive, and gives me lots of positive feedback. I will feel bad if I leave her, but she understands that the political climate of our organization is what it is, and that this could be the opportunity of a lifetime. I told the HR guy he was welcome to call any of my previous employers (because I know they'll all give me stellar reviews).

Anyway, I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and I wish I had not been so introverted today, and I feel like I'm walking a tight wire, and hopefully I'll get lots of sleep tonight, and rest tomorrow, and my life will go back to a little slower pace. Or not, if I get this new job. I know I must secretly thrive on stress. But, good thing is... I'm only chubby now... and my stomach is flat... which I love every single day. I could use some lipo and a boob job, but all in good time...

Even if I didn't do so well today, it was still neat to see all these people get together for one very loved little guy. Each year brings things I never would have guessed... life is truly stranger than fiction...


  1. Wow....You are amazing to be able to have that group of people all together under one roof! The fact that you were able to do it for the sake of your beautiful grandson (I still cannot believe you are a grandma!) is a testament to who you are! Do not beat yourself up for not being more outgoing, etc. Trust me, if Looking Good is the best revenge, you knocked that one out of the park Granny!

  2. I want a grandbaby!! What a fantastic feeling. And to take all of those people in .. I was exhausted feeling your exhaustion!!!
    You look wonderful and I am sure your EX was thinking that..hugs