Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Before the Ambien hits-

It's all good. I'm less frustrated. Weight is stable... funny how that's always a significant concern? I'm finding myself doing some mindless eating, but I'm more aware than I would have been previously. At times, I really want the band to do ALL of the work for me, but I still need to be aware of what I'm doing. I don't mind if I'm not making terrific choices, as long as I know exactly what it is I am putting into my body. It's when I stop paying attention (good or bad), that I personally have potential for weight gain despite my band. It's a shallow subject, but it belongs to me, and if I had to guess- it's not going anywhere at all.

Oh! My son broke his engagement and moved in with some guy friends of his. That's been a huge relief. How are you going to spend your life? Who are you going to spend your life with? Now, those are very important matters. I want my children to get those as close to right as you can when you're young, naive, and inexperienced. My two oldest are listening. I give them my input, try to support decisions that won't have disastrous consequences, and hope they'll accept some of my life experience to limit damage to their own. I recognized many amazing qualities in my spouse because of all the life crap I'd gone through. My oldest had first row seats to my life show and I hope they see what good things look like- and model a healthy relationship as what they will do in their own lives.

My husband and I had an appointment on Valentine's Day with our lawyer- to do our wills. How romantic? We did have a lovely dinner and very deep conversation that evening. It is the strangest thing to plan major details of your death. We were very lucky in that we both agreed with all of our choices. And then that lead us to reassess everything that's important in our lives. That, and the night before that we had been watching a science channel show on near death experiences. We have strong beliefs, they just don't align well with any one religion or even any one type of religion. That's for another post. I asked my husband if what he thought we be doing one year from now, on Valentine's 2012- and that lead to another deep conversation. These conversations are one of my favorite reasons why I love that man.

Moving on to more shallow subject... this is silly, but the woman who does my nails talked me into doing the OPI "shatter". I have it over a fuschia "star of the party"- and I love it. Seriously, it makes me happy. Strangely, even though it's not very professional (read: dry/boring/plain)- that's exactly why I like it. My profession is pedantic (look it up), so it's fun to have things that professionally are not what people are expecting. I know, weird. By the way, I think what I do is exhilerating...

Speaking of that... and coming back to deeper subject... it looks like things are accelerating with my professional aspirations. There is a very tangible niche in the current recovery healthcare market- and I think we may have the team and capital to really do something that no one else is doing. I know we're the only ones on our horizon with the experience. This is my ultimate dream. This would shut me up about wanting more out of life. It really would.

I'm getting dangersouly close to my sleeping med hitting, so I'll end here. I'll read till I fall asleep, and will try diligently to NOT post any comments. You'll thank me for that.

11 comments:

  1. Sooo good to hear from you. I miss you!

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  2. I've used Ambien a couple of times and while it does help me sleep through the night, oddly enough the next day I feel more tired than usual. So....are you coming to BOOBS 2011? You better!

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  3. haha I had to look up what Ambien was! Hope you had a great sleep!

    Glad everything seems to be travelling well for you :)

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  4. Broken engagement? Scandalous. Glad you are doing better!

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  5. I'm so glad to hear about your son...from your earlier description of the gf/fiancee, she didn't sound like a good one.

    And I'm also glad to hear that you and hubby took care of wills, etc. While it's depressing, my recent experience with having to plan these things last minute/after the fact made the entire situation more stressful.

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  6. Hi Lara! Good to see a post from you. I hope I will see you in Chicago!

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  7. Glad to hear you are less stressed and to hear about your life lately. Love to you!

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  8. Was this the fiancee who was a real bitch to you when she was staying at your house? I feel bad that your son, while at the same time happy that he finally saw the light. I know you must be thrilled!!!

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  9. I miss you! Glad to see a post (says the girl who goes AWOL every other month)

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  10. Awww you and your hubby are so good together :)

    Are you going to Boobs this year? I really hope so...it would be great to have a plane buddy again...and I miss you so much!!

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  11. If you start taking ambien then stop taking it you have bigger sleep problems than you started with.

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