I have been working extremely hard during the past month at my new job. Learning lots! The traveling has not been as bad as I was dreading. My family was getting along reasonably well. Everything was coming along as expected. Until Friday afternoon. I won't bore anyone with the details, but I was put in a no win situation by my boss. There were completely false lines being drawn. When I offered my input, I was honestly told to not speak to her that way, and that I was being defensive and kept interrupting. Ok. Obviously this person does not know me. At all. It was made very clear that she was not interested in hearing anything other than what she had already made up in her mind. The lines of two way communication and direct problem solving were slammed shut. Hard.
This interaction blew the wind right out of my sails. My learning curve has been moving along quickly, and I found lots of enjoyment in things that I was told I would not like. I'm sure there's plenty of help and correction that could be given to me at this point. I'm tired and probably not explaining this well- but as Mr. W put it- I am willing to work too hard, and give too much- for anyone to treat me in such a condescending manner.
No money is worth it. Some of the most wealthy people I know, are also some of the most unhappy people I know. I do not need to take what is tantamount to abuse, just to make money. I was happy at my old job, and they are eager to have me return. I must be spoiled, but this is the first time in my career that I've ever encountered this level of... I don't even know what to call it. But I know that I don't need to put up with it.
So, my previous job is willing to take me back. It would be great if it could be Monday morning, but we'll have to get through some HR stuff. I called the trainer at my new job, and let her know my intentions. I wasn't sure who to send my resignation to in the HR department. I also want to try to determine if it is better to stay for two weeks, or just go since I'm in training and it's really a waste of everyone's time and money for me to stay. I think I'll be at home on Monday...
It's weird, but I feel as comfortable in my decision to leave this job as I did with my decision to go to it. I've gained a course on some important concepts in this industry, and some new ways of looking at some very dynamic situations. I've lost nothing here. Strangely, I did not see this coming. It took the wind out of my sails completely on Friday afternnon, but I'm not stressed or worried, and the right thing to do is very clear.
Good news- my bloat is finally good, my stomach looked great in jeans this evening. I might try to weigh myself tomorrow- it's been well over a month. I feel empowered to spend some time watching what I eat, and I'm ready to lose a little more weight.
I'm getting tired, but I did want to announce that I'm back. And happy about it. I'm excited to read what's been going on with everyone. I've missed this part of my life alot.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
This is it... & thank you
Life as I know it will never be the same after tomorrow. It's my last day working for the company I've been with for eight years. My husband works for the same company, and we've been driving to work together for years- sometimes it's the only time we get with each other. Of course I've been doing the countdown... "this is the last Thursday we'll ever do this" kind of thing. And at work, I just pretend like everything is normal, and that there will be another day. After tomorrow, there isn't.
I'm excited to get started in my new job... mainly to get over the first few months- quickly. I like to be good at what I do, but I also love to learn- which means I need to do things I'm not good at yet. I am absolutely beyond happy to get this experience. I fly out to Philadelphia on Sunday, and then I officially start on my next chapter in life.
Did I mention that my stepson has come to live with us? We were able to get him into the same private school that our six year old goes to, and I think this is going to work out very well. We had such a nice visit over the summer- honestly the first enjoyable visit probably ever. Not that it was the kids fault- it was usually a mix of many unfortunate factors. Anyway, I think with me being gone alot, it's going to give Mr. W and his sons time together without my interference. I don't believe in coincidence, and this is could be an unbelievable opportunity.
Weight. It's still up from the Mirena weight, but edging back down. I'm a little frustrated because I'm not eating differently than before... my body really is reacting differently. I'm down two of the five pounds, and will hopefully get the rest off soon. I feel really chubby and I think I look bloated. I really don't want a battle over this, and am hoping this weight resolves itself while I'm alone. I'm a social eater, and don't really eat unless other people are around. Ugh. I've so enjoyed this past year and not having to fight to be at a weight I was ok with (170-175, depending on the time of month). I'm freaking if I see 180. I am truly, honestly and really happy at around 170.
This is really it. The last night I'm going to be able to blog like this. Comfy, cozy, snuggled up in my bed... hurrying before the ambien hits... reading "just a couple" of blogs... I'll still blog, but everything in my life will be different, and I think even better. If I haven't said it in awhile- thank you band, for giving me my life back, and in some ways a new life. Thank you.
I'm excited to get started in my new job... mainly to get over the first few months- quickly. I like to be good at what I do, but I also love to learn- which means I need to do things I'm not good at yet. I am absolutely beyond happy to get this experience. I fly out to Philadelphia on Sunday, and then I officially start on my next chapter in life.
Did I mention that my stepson has come to live with us? We were able to get him into the same private school that our six year old goes to, and I think this is going to work out very well. We had such a nice visit over the summer- honestly the first enjoyable visit probably ever. Not that it was the kids fault- it was usually a mix of many unfortunate factors. Anyway, I think with me being gone alot, it's going to give Mr. W and his sons time together without my interference. I don't believe in coincidence, and this is could be an unbelievable opportunity.
Weight. It's still up from the Mirena weight, but edging back down. I'm a little frustrated because I'm not eating differently than before... my body really is reacting differently. I'm down two of the five pounds, and will hopefully get the rest off soon. I feel really chubby and I think I look bloated. I really don't want a battle over this, and am hoping this weight resolves itself while I'm alone. I'm a social eater, and don't really eat unless other people are around. Ugh. I've so enjoyed this past year and not having to fight to be at a weight I was ok with (170-175, depending on the time of month). I'm freaking if I see 180. I am truly, honestly and really happy at around 170.
This is really it. The last night I'm going to be able to blog like this. Comfy, cozy, snuggled up in my bed... hurrying before the ambien hits... reading "just a couple" of blogs... I'll still blog, but everything in my life will be different, and I think even better. If I haven't said it in awhile- thank you band, for giving me my life back, and in some ways a new life. Thank you.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Now it's bloggers fault!
The inability to leave comments cascaded into the inability to access my blog correctly altogether. And then I just kind of gave up with it. I did want to mention how much I appreciate the comments from new (to me) bloggers.
I am in the last two weeks of my current job. Furiously ending projects, passing them onto the service providers, training people like mad, and trying to organize the way I should have been all along. It blows my mind that one year ago, I knew I needed just one amazing project to stand out- and hit the jackpot with my very first assignment. I was in disbelief even while it was happening that it was what it was. And I was able to deliver on everything after that, and one year later- I feel like I can blow it out of the water. I'm excited to take my skills to the next level. I have had amazing mentoring and education, and have worked my ass off.
I've also been getting ready for my new job almost every second that I'm not at my old job. My new license picture is HORRIBLE, but I LOVE IT. I'm not 300 lbs in it! Just a little bit startled. Yes!
Shopping has become an ironic punishment from hell. I've had to do so much of it, and since the things I need generally are not on sale, I'm extremely picky. For full price, clothes have to almost transform me. Here's a hint: I've been purposely shopping without make-up on, because if I can look great in an outfit without it... I know it will only be even better when I wear it for real.
Oh, and I also had the bright idea to get Mirena (IUD) so I don't get my period while I'm traveling. I asked my doctor if she thought that was a crazy idea, and she said that other women had done it for the same reason. When I had one previously, I wasn't mental, it cleared my skin, and I never had my period. This time however- I'VE GAINED WEIGHT. Five ligitimate pounds. I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER ABOUT THIS. The only things that are keeping me from ripping it out myself are 1) I know side effects generally wear off (and I'm only about 4 weeks into this) and 2) I will be traveling, and probably not eating, and that will hopefully take this stupid weight off. I have not done a real thing to maintain my weight loss, but I have not ruled out having to actually count calories or put some effort into this if my weight doesn't normalize.
The kids all start school right around the time I start my job. My step-son unexpectedly came to live with us. The month we spent with the kids this summer was so good- we gave him an open invitation. Much to everyone's surprise, his mother (a general term for her...) agreed. So, we're putting him in the same private school that our 6 year old goes to. Expensive, but worth the peace of mind. He gave us zero grief about the decision, and while I know he's a teenager and will often act like one, I think he's going to do very well with all of this.
It seems like there has been so much else going on. Literally not a second to spare, but it's all been positive. Even with the weight gain, I still wear the same size, and clothes look fine. The weight is water, I can see the "bloat"...gross. Anyway, other than THAT, everything is good. And I've still been sneaking in reading blogs, even though I was ticked, and blogger refused to cooperate on my end. Now I'm off to read a little more, and go.to.sleep!
I am in the last two weeks of my current job. Furiously ending projects, passing them onto the service providers, training people like mad, and trying to organize the way I should have been all along. It blows my mind that one year ago, I knew I needed just one amazing project to stand out- and hit the jackpot with my very first assignment. I was in disbelief even while it was happening that it was what it was. And I was able to deliver on everything after that, and one year later- I feel like I can blow it out of the water. I'm excited to take my skills to the next level. I have had amazing mentoring and education, and have worked my ass off.
I've also been getting ready for my new job almost every second that I'm not at my old job. My new license picture is HORRIBLE, but I LOVE IT. I'm not 300 lbs in it! Just a little bit startled. Yes!
Shopping has become an ironic punishment from hell. I've had to do so much of it, and since the things I need generally are not on sale, I'm extremely picky. For full price, clothes have to almost transform me. Here's a hint: I've been purposely shopping without make-up on, because if I can look great in an outfit without it... I know it will only be even better when I wear it for real.
Oh, and I also had the bright idea to get Mirena (IUD) so I don't get my period while I'm traveling. I asked my doctor if she thought that was a crazy idea, and she said that other women had done it for the same reason. When I had one previously, I wasn't mental, it cleared my skin, and I never had my period. This time however- I'VE GAINED WEIGHT. Five ligitimate pounds. I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER ABOUT THIS. The only things that are keeping me from ripping it out myself are 1) I know side effects generally wear off (and I'm only about 4 weeks into this) and 2) I will be traveling, and probably not eating, and that will hopefully take this stupid weight off. I have not done a real thing to maintain my weight loss, but I have not ruled out having to actually count calories or put some effort into this if my weight doesn't normalize.
The kids all start school right around the time I start my job. My step-son unexpectedly came to live with us. The month we spent with the kids this summer was so good- we gave him an open invitation. Much to everyone's surprise, his mother (a general term for her...) agreed. So, we're putting him in the same private school that our 6 year old goes to. Expensive, but worth the peace of mind. He gave us zero grief about the decision, and while I know he's a teenager and will often act like one, I think he's going to do very well with all of this.
It seems like there has been so much else going on. Literally not a second to spare, but it's all been positive. Even with the weight gain, I still wear the same size, and clothes look fine. The weight is water, I can see the "bloat"...gross. Anyway, other than THAT, everything is good. And I've still been sneaking in reading blogs, even though I was ticked, and blogger refused to cooperate on my end. Now I'm off to read a little more, and go.to.sleep!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Damn you all!
Why must you be so interesting? Sometimes when I only have a few minutes, I go to check blogs really quickly- and get sucked in by so many damn interesting posts- for more than a few minutes. Tonight I didn't even try to comment, so I have no idea if that's fixed or not. Did I miss a post where this was explained by some brilliant blogger or other?
So, Utah pretty much sucks. I need to get a new license before my new job and traveling. My current picture is of me at my highest weight- 130 lbs ago. When I fly, TSA look at my license, then at me, then back at my license, then back at me... also happens at less critical places all the time. Plus, my vain side doesn't want to show up to my new job and have anyone there see me looking like that. No way...
Back to why Utah sucks. In order to get a replacement picture/license- I have to have my social security card, certified copies of: my birth certificate, marriage certificates x 3, divorce decrees x 2, and of course two pieces of official mail at my current address. CERTIFIED COPIES of 6 (SIX) documents to proove who I am. That takes time AND money, my friends. I believe I now have everything necessary- and will soon have the priveledge of visiting one of our lovely and ever efficient DMV offices...
Joy! In band news, nothing new. Maintaining. No exercise. Have increased veggies a bit. Trying to decrease alcohol a bit. I think this is the way it should be. No craziness with food.
Ok, so I'm going to go do the official work I got on my laptop to do, before all you damn bloggers took up so much of my time. ;)
So, Utah pretty much sucks. I need to get a new license before my new job and traveling. My current picture is of me at my highest weight- 130 lbs ago. When I fly, TSA look at my license, then at me, then back at my license, then back at me... also happens at less critical places all the time. Plus, my vain side doesn't want to show up to my new job and have anyone there see me looking like that. No way...
Back to why Utah sucks. In order to get a replacement picture/license- I have to have my social security card, certified copies of: my birth certificate, marriage certificates x 3, divorce decrees x 2, and of course two pieces of official mail at my current address. CERTIFIED COPIES of 6 (SIX) documents to proove who I am. That takes time AND money, my friends. I believe I now have everything necessary- and will soon have the priveledge of visiting one of our lovely and ever efficient DMV offices...
Joy! In band news, nothing new. Maintaining. No exercise. Have increased veggies a bit. Trying to decrease alcohol a bit. I think this is the way it should be. No craziness with food.
Ok, so I'm going to go do the official work I got on my laptop to do, before all you damn bloggers took up so much of my time. ;)
Friday, July 8, 2011
It's like getting paid to eat chocolate...
My new job starts on August 22nd. I should get the offer in writing next week. The negotiation thingy worked- crazy. I'd have done it for a whole lot less. I want the JOB, the money is secondary. Although it's very nice to feel tangibly valued. Honestly, for me this will be like getting paid to eat chocolate.
I'm thinking I want to actually start watching what I eat- as in no junk, and eat for nutrients and quality AND also start running, specifically for the health benefits. There's about six weeks until I start my job, and my goal is to feel healthy and strong. I want to do this because I'm starting to think I'm worth the investment. Yes, stinky thinking dies hard. My band is being wonderful and it's beyond nice to not be controlled by food.
Our house has been a zoo this week. My step son's 16th birthday was on the fourth, so we had a houseful of people, food, and fireworks (which were outside!). My sister and b-i-l and their new (18mos!) baby are visiting from California. My son is here to see an orthopedist, and everyone will be here tonight... the rest of the weekend is just as (actually more!) insane.
Blogger is naughty. My blog freezes- and I can't leave comments. Pffffffffffffft on you blogger. :(
I'm thinking I want to actually start watching what I eat- as in no junk, and eat for nutrients and quality AND also start running, specifically for the health benefits. There's about six weeks until I start my job, and my goal is to feel healthy and strong. I want to do this because I'm starting to think I'm worth the investment. Yes, stinky thinking dies hard. My band is being wonderful and it's beyond nice to not be controlled by food.
Our house has been a zoo this week. My step son's 16th birthday was on the fourth, so we had a houseful of people, food, and fireworks (which were outside!). My sister and b-i-l and their new (18mos!) baby are visiting from California. My son is here to see an orthopedist, and everyone will be here tonight... the rest of the weekend is just as (actually more!) insane.
Blogger is naughty. My blog freezes- and I can't leave comments. Pffffffffffffft on you blogger. :(
Friday, July 1, 2011
Negotiations... ?!?
The job offer salary is almost double what I'm making. The woman extending the offer asked if I was ok with the numbers... so, I countered- because it seemed like that was what she was asking me to do. If they meet my counter at all, I will be shocked- the original offer was more than I even dreamed of, however I didn't want them to think I was a push over. Anyway, I guess these are the games we play...
THANK YOU BAND FOR HELPING ME REACH MY GOALS. I knew my band would pay for itself. Women can't afford to not take care of themselves- this surgery for me will be a huge return on investment. In retrospect, I couldn't afford to NOT do this. Living life feels better than eating and all that other shit. I'm so happy to be at this point in my life. Happy!
THANK YOU BAND FOR HELPING ME REACH MY GOALS. I knew my band would pay for itself. Women can't afford to not take care of themselves- this surgery for me will be a huge return on investment. In retrospect, I couldn't afford to NOT do this. Living life feels better than eating and all that other shit. I'm so happy to be at this point in my life. Happy!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Dream job called, again
The job was offered to me today.
So, now's probably a bad time to ask... but any thoughts on jobs that require all travel? I knew what it was when I hit "send"- I know it will be difficult, but for the experience- I figure it will be well worth it. Any last "hell no, don't do its" ???
Mr. W says I'll do just fine because I'm used to doing hard things... huh, huh, huh- (insert sexual inuendo here).
On the positive side, I need to buy clothes. My current boss is so sweet- we went suit shopping over the weekend. It's weird for me to buy things without looking for a sale. But, it's awesome fitting into, and looking half way decent in clothes. Although I have to admit I still always check out the plus size clothing... just to see what's there...
So, now's probably a bad time to ask... but any thoughts on jobs that require all travel? I knew what it was when I hit "send"- I know it will be difficult, but for the experience- I figure it will be well worth it. Any last "hell no, don't do its" ???
Mr. W says I'll do just fine because I'm used to doing hard things... huh, huh, huh- (insert sexual inuendo here).
On the positive side, I need to buy clothes. My current boss is so sweet- we went suit shopping over the weekend. It's weird for me to buy things without looking for a sale. But, it's awesome fitting into, and looking half way decent in clothes. Although I have to admit I still always check out the plus size clothing... just to see what's there...
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