Baggage time. Weekend has ended, my struggles have not ended (with my son and now his fiance), and I really feel like shit inside. I've rationalized, looked for the best, and held my tongue and my peace as long as I could, but I could do it no longer this evening. I wish it were different. It makes me feel horrible about myself and everything. I don't know what I could have done differently.
Scratch all that. Mr. W just lived up to his title. Back history, as "crazy" as my childhood was, is how "normal" his was. But, he just sat me down (seriously, as I was finishing the first paragraph of this post)... and told me about many holidays in his family, that had the same exact arguments and endings. I guess we're just coming to a different dynamic in our lives as grandparents, adult children, grandchildren... all brand new roles.
I'm stress eating right now. Hard. It's a little different now... if something doesn't taste exactly as want it to, I throw it away. And my band get me full after a couple of bites. My brain is still trying, but I'm making emotional and physical progress. I'm recognizing what it is, allowing myself to do it because I know it's not going to end up all that big of a deal, and hopefully tomorrow I'll deal with everything a little better.
Is this just the universes tricky way of making me happy about my vacation time being over and ok with going back to work? Well, it worked. I'd also like to thank the universe for Mr. W, we may not be perfect, but we are perfect for each other. I love that man, and our son, and our life together. Tonight, I am grateful for that.