New low. Looks like the booze, chips and candy are paying off. Seriously, this is why I love my band. Even when I lose my mind (which next to never happens... sarcasm...)... I can lose weight. I wasn't very optimistic about getting to my goal weight of 159, which would make me not overweight. However, I'm reading blogs of people who have been banded for years, who continue(d) to lose weight. If it happens, great. And it might. If I don't lose any more weight, I'm truly content where I am. But, if I've not made it clear... my dieting days are over. Thanks also to the bloggers out there who have been passionate in defending the band and providing education on the success rate of diets (wow, 2%... diets work for me... to get fat).
I still don't know why I don't run. I think in my head, I associate it with trying to lose weight. And obsessing... faster, further, more challenging hills... and even though I get great endorphin rushes... I don't know. Maybe I'm afraid to actually be thin? Maybe I associate thin with all the diet crap? Maybe skinny wasn't my goal this time? Just "normal"? But maybe I still buy into a girl can never be too rich or too thin? Yeah, I really have lost my mind.
This brings me to pictures. I still avoid them. Being in them. Reading blogs this week, I have loved seeing everyone in their Halloween costumes. It's fun seeing friends able to enjoy holidays, sexy costumes, LIFE. I know I enjoyed being social and going to parties this year (the first time in a loooooooong time) and wearing a sexy costume. My husband and I were Romans. He was a (HOT) Roman soldier, and I was a Roman goddess. We got to wear our costumes to two parties. I felt good about how I looked, and I thought about taking pictures. But each time decided NOT to... because I'm not sure how I'm going to look in pictures. Same reason I avoid vlogging. This is what happened to me in Chicago. Camera in hand, but too afraid, because I can't get an accurate perspective of my size in my head. I want to like pictures.
So... I'm happy about 167. But still nuts. The band can't fix that. :)