The storm has passed, I'm home with power, not baking until later, and have lots of computer time.
So, I'm reading this article in CNN about a Microsoft executive who quit her job to join the circus. She couldn't stand one more meeting where people got yelled at, which isn't the exact problem I have with the corporate world. This lucky woman quit her job, discovered aerial arts (think Cirque de Soleil), and opened a studio where she has created not only a new creative career for herself, but also a little community of women who share her passion. If I had the guts, I'd quit my job and do something creative. Did she succeed by luck? That's what I need to know. If I saw a way out, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But do you SEE it and do it, or just DO it? She just did it. It's her life, and she did what she loved. I always tell my children to just do what they love. I have a good job, I do not loathe going to work, but is it what I want my life to be about? I have career goals I'm following and succeeding at, but is it passion? No. Do I need luck? No? I don't know!
Of course I'm going to bring this back around to the subject of my band. A friend asked me this week, if maybe I was successful with my band just because of luck? Maybe some people lose weight through WLS and others do not, by factors outside of their control? I'll admit I didn't see that question coming. My gut instinct is, no! I have put in reasonable effort. I've tried to approach this completely differently than any other weight loss I've had, because it would be silly to pursue this in a way I already knew didn't work. By band standards, I was a poor candidate for the lapband because I'm a grazer. I knew this pre-surgically, but felt I could make it work anyway. And I think 130 pounds lost is a band success. And not luck.
Can you guess where I'm going with this now? I lost weight because it's MY life, and I wanted to live it on MY terms. So, how do I do this in other areas of my life, specifically with my career? I've thought about this for a very long time, it's not just a fleeting fantasy. Would I fail if I wasn't lucky? Would it take luck to figure out what I would want to do? This aerial artist quit her job, THEN found her passion. I don't know if I'm confident enough, brave enough, fed up enough, lucky enough?
What does it take? I don't have words to describe how I worked with my band. If I did, I suppose I could write a book, and that could be my creative passion. I feel my band worked because of me, and not some random lucky force. I know everyone has a deep desire to have their bands work for them, so it's not just because I "wanted" it more than any one else. Does it have to do with love? Doing what I love for myself, approaching food in a way I never have before? Can I do what I love in all areas of my life? I had to dig deep inside for my band to work, it was not just external forces. I "want" to do this in a bigger way now. I don't know how, where, what, or when... but I do know why. For passion and love, not luck.