Friday, December 17, 2010


Aaaaaaah. I feel much tighter, like a virgin bandster again. Sweet spot achieved… a little snug- but that has gone away after a few days with my previous fills- I’ve presumed it was a bit of swelling. Even sweeter, I can be trusted around candy! Having my restriction “disappear” and actually being hungry, was a real eye opener for me. This fill is providing such a contrast to that feeling. I was reminded of how much I rely on my band to help me. Today, I can actually have candy on my desk… and no worries! I allowed myself a couple of snack sized peppermint patties last night (if they melt in my mouth, they are liquid?!?)… and I could barely suck down two of them.

The NP at my surgeon’s office was fabulous. I’d never been to see her before, but she is excellent. She found my tilted port. All 4cc’s were there, and she added 1cc. My plan was to ask for 0.5, and I thought she’d think that was too much. I asked her how much she was thinking about adding, and she said “oh, I never give more than 3cc’s at a time”. What? What? She also said “come back tomorrow if this isn’t enough, because one day hungry is one day too many”.

AND, she did the obligatory “wow, you’ve done such a great job” (even though she’d never seen me before)- and I have to admit it felt really good, especially because they “get” the journey. Am I the only one who dreamed about that moment? At my first appointment, it was hard to hope and believe, that one day I would come into that same waiting room… much thinner! It was my dream! Maybe being this size is becoming more routine (gasp) for me, because I wasn’t expecting a big reaction from the staff. It honestly caught me off guard. I guess they really haven’t had a chance to see me very often, and it did look like it was a slow afternoon for them. Anyway, it felt good.

This renewed restriction is well timed. I was stressing the sugar cookie making that we’ll be doing over the weekend. And the parties. And the dreaded Christmas stocking? Hanging there, full- and untouched. Except for the peanuts- protein… good choice, huh? I’m obviously getting a little blogging in… at work… I need to focus elsewhere for a few minutes. I’m trying to think if I’ve hit my plan or not. I think I have. Fill- check. Stocking- check, thanks to fill. Mindful eating- check, thanks to fill. Blogging- check, even if it is on borrowed time. ;)

What I ate today: vanilla yogurt, provolone cheese, half a piece of pizza, two worth the calories chocolate truffles, one ounce salted peanuts, valiant attempt- several bites- of sweet & sour pork w/ rice, and I'll probably try another peppermint patty or two. I don’t think I’ll be drinking this weekend (not in the mood, really?), and I think I’ll do fine at the parties. Scale is back to where it should be. Whew.


  1. so....france? i may join you when it comes time to run away!

    ok, i have to you get a reall funky -- but thrilling -- feeling in your pouch when you eat a peppermint patty? i liken it to almost a pop rocks feeling. a small explosion of goodness. lol.

  2. ps. i haven't wanted to drink lately either. i was going to blog about that. i am so bored with my sober self but at the same time can't think about drinking!