Thursday, November 4, 2010

167

New low. Looks like the booze, chips and candy are paying off. Seriously, this is why I love my band. Even when I lose my mind (which next to never happens... sarcasm...)... I can lose weight. I wasn't very optimistic about getting to my goal weight of 159, which would make me not overweight. However, I'm reading blogs of people who have been banded for years, who continue(d) to lose weight. If it happens, great. And it might. If I don't lose any more weight, I'm truly content where I am. But, if I've not made it clear... my dieting days are over. Thanks also to the bloggers out there who have been passionate in defending the band and providing education on the success rate of diets (wow, 2%... diets work for me... to get fat).

I still don't know why I don't run. I think in my head, I associate it with trying to lose weight. And obsessing... faster, further, more challenging hills... and even though I get great endorphin rushes... I don't know. Maybe I'm afraid to actually be thin? Maybe I associate thin with all the diet crap? Maybe skinny wasn't my goal this time? Just "normal"? But maybe I still buy into a girl can never be too rich or too thin? Yeah, I really have lost my mind.

This brings me to pictures. I still avoid them. Being in them. Reading blogs this week, I have loved seeing everyone in their Halloween costumes. It's fun seeing friends able to enjoy holidays, sexy costumes, LIFE. I know I enjoyed being social and going to parties this year (the first time in a loooooooong time) and wearing a sexy costume. My husband and I were Romans. He was a (HOT) Roman soldier, and I was a Roman goddess. We got to wear our costumes to two parties. I felt good about how I looked, and I thought about taking pictures. But each time decided NOT to... because I'm not sure how I'm going to look in pictures. Same reason I avoid vlogging. This is what happened to me in Chicago. Camera in hand, but too afraid, because I can't get an accurate perspective of my size in my head. I want to like pictures.

So... I'm happy about 167. But still nuts. The band can't fix that. :)

10 comments:

  1. Woot! Woot! for that new low. And start snapping. You know I love me some pictures. I found by looking at a bunch of photos of myself that I could learn what I really looked like. And they weren't bad. It's a mind thing to actually see ourselves.

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  2. yay for the new low, that's fantastic!!! And I've been pondering fear of success for a while now - maybe you're on to something with maybe being afraid to be thin... hmmmm. I'm with Sandy Lee - start the pictures coming. I bet each time you do it, it'll get easier. Go for it!!

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  3. Yeah - I'm still a little nuts too!!

    But ya gotta love the band!!!

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  4. That is awesome on the weight loss front! My goal is to be healthy, I do not have goals of ever being in a bikini, so I kind of understand what your saying there. As for the running, I do not associate that with being thin, or even trying to lose weight. I have never IN MY LIFE enjoyed running, until the last time I took a considerable amount of weight off. I wasn't actually to the point yet where I enjoyed it, but I could definitely see myself getting there some day. As for the pics, you are beautiful, you should be proud to be in the pictures. Of course I can say that, when there aren't even a dozen pictures in my family photo albums that has me in them, but hey, I'm still obese!

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  5. You have got to get in those pictures! Man, I was pushing other girls out of the way to get in more of them! Get your skinny butt in front of the camera and get posting!

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  6. Congrats my shrinking cupcake...so happy for you.

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  7. Way to go with the 167!!! I cannot wait until I get on the damn scale and I see 16 anything! You look great!

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  8. WOW 167 is awesome! I would be thrilled with that number!!!!

    You know I love to run...because it feels good. Maybe focus on how good it makes your body feel? I associate running with being healthy and strong. Weird how our minds put things in categories like that!

    Anyway, you are on your way to 159...without dieting!

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  9. I was wondering where your Halloween pictures were. Congrats on your new low.

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