Secret Goal Confession

Since before I even decided on being banded, I had a secret goal of being a size 12 by my fortieth birthday. Well, I turn forty on the 19th, which is now less than two weeks away, and it's not looking like I will make my goal by my actual birth date. The pants I've been wearing are a size 16, and they fit best just out of the dryer (yes, DRYER- not dried on a rack!), and they fit all weird the rest of the time. I can wear a size 14 jeans, but just because I CAN, doesn't mean I SHOULD- if you know what I mean. So, I then modified my birthday goal to just be in the 180's by my b-day. After my Christimas GAIN, I didn't even want to make the 180's a goal because I thought over five pounds in two weeks is too much a stretch (especially because I'm not working out, and that subject is next). BUT, there was a Christmas miracle today! The scale said 193! So, I'm going to be brave and confess my secret goal... I want to be in the 180's by 01-19-10.

Now, to the subject of EXERCISE. Band blogger Colleen who writes on "This time I mean it", had the ultimate exercise question. Basically, if we like to exercise, and we like the results, why don't we do it? I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I think most of us have some form of exercise that we actually like. I didn't like to move AT all at my heaviest. But, there was a time when I enjoyed running. ALOT. My body is liberal and generous with endorphins. When I was in my best shape, I was running between three and ten miles a day. After the first 1/2 mile, I would literally be floating... my mind was clear, and it was just an amazing feeling. And as equally satisfying? I was 119 lbs and a size 6 (out of the dryer size 6!), and at 5'7", that's nice and lean. So, why am I not running now that I'm at a weight where I could easily do so? Seriously, I'm ASKING. I don't know the answer to that. I really don't.

Spontaneous report: Ski date set for the 16th. But, I don't know what to wear! And, I'm not going to look cute. :(

Food report: Yesterday, I ended up with a little over 1200 calories, and 65 grams of protein. Todays menu is turkey sausage, whole wheat waffle, greek yogurt, pepper jack cheese, SmartOnes turkey w/ gravy & mashed potatoes, and of course I have no idea what's on the dinner menu. So my daytime tally is 600 calories, 47 grams of protein. I have the popcorn again, but haven't needed it. I had a really BAD episode of hypoglycemia last week (which I don't usually have unless I'm preggers, and I'M NOT pregnant), so that made me a little concerned- I had to stop to buy food on the way home because I was shaking and so sick. I've been bringing the popcorn carbs with me ever since. Anyway, that problem is hopefully completely resolved, but I'm prepared if not!