This has nothing to do with food or the band!!!! I made my five year old cry with my screaming during the blitz by Porter! OH MY GOD! Love it. Love it. Love it. I had a thing for the Saints this year because of Reggie Bush. And, I'm from Baltimore so I route for ANY team that's not the Colts (boo hiss). Great game! To top it all off, I won a twenty minute massage bet! This has been a phenominal day!
Spontaneous:
Screaming my head off.
Food:
Band has been giving very decent restriction. I had some ham & cheese omelette, bagel bites, jalepeno poppers, mozzerella sticks- about 1400 calories. I know I have a crappy diet, but it was fun!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
191,191,191,191,191,191,191,191,191,191,191,191
Guess how much I still weigh? I think I'm done with 1200 calories a day for a while. I'm averaging 1600, never more (hardly ever more) than 1800 calories per day, and that's all I'm willing to do. So, if this last 40 lbs takes awhile, so be it. I obviously don't want to do the exercise part yet, or I would have already started. When I do it, when I do ANYTHING from here on out in my life, it will be because I WANT to, not because I have to. So, I will enjoy where I'm at. My family has told me to stop losing weight, and I could probably get along just fine if I did, but I'm not ready to be finished. I am however ready for it to be slower at this point. I'm at acceptance with myself, my body, and my rate. For today, anyway...
BONCO? BUNKO? Don't know which it is, but I started with a group last night. Super fun. I saw a drinking version of it on the Real Housewives of Orange County (guilty pleasure)- and it looked VERY fun. My daughter's ex-boyfriend's mom asked me to join her group, and last night was my first try. I don't know how anyone could do it drunk, but next time I might try. As I was getting ready to go super quickly after work last night, my daughter told me how proud she was of the weight I've lost and how much happier (and social) it's made me. Fat stopped me from enjoying life and people. No more!!! And, this week I get to start getting ready for the Queensryche concert that I bought tickets for my husband, which is next weekend. TMI, but Mr. W wants me to wear a leather miniskirt. Ummm... I don't know if that's going to happen. If it looks unsausagelike, I may do it, but I'm going to have to start some serious shopping this week.
Oh, and I think apologies are in order for my lack of editing in these blog posts. Sorry about the sentence structure in the above paragraph. And, when I was talking about my last band fill (from a couple of weeks ago), it's a "c"oring needle not a "b"oring needle. That's been haunting me. And, women should "w"eild power, not "y"eild power (from my post yesterday). Those are the only two that bother me. Too bad I can't send my blog through the same editing process I do at work. I'm pretty certain there have been lots of other errors I should have caught, so thanks for bearing with me. You know what I mean!
Spontaneous:
If I decide to shower today, will that count? I love staying in my pj's all day, at least one day out of the weekend. No worries!
Food:
Mr. W woke up early and made bacon, sausage, ham & cheese omelettes, hash browns, french toast, cantaloupe, grapes, orange juice, chocolate milk, and regular milk. Seriously, all of that. And, he invited his parents over. My band is working really well, I had a couple of bites of omelette (because it's my favorite), and a few bites of hashbrowns (just because!). I've had a little second serving of omelette for late lunch. I should also confess the lemonheads, swedish fish, and sour patch kids I've eaten while watching movies this afternoon. Altogether, I estimate about 1,000 calories so far. Not great choices, but also not pigging out. So, I'm still at acceptance right now. Please remind me to not beat myself up when I start PMS'ing. Back to an awful movie ("Love Happens", but that movie does NOT), I said I'd be right back in a minute, and it's been five... no wonder I have no editing in my posts... bye...
BONCO? BUNKO? Don't know which it is, but I started with a group last night. Super fun. I saw a drinking version of it on the Real Housewives of Orange County (guilty pleasure)- and it looked VERY fun. My daughter's ex-boyfriend's mom asked me to join her group, and last night was my first try. I don't know how anyone could do it drunk, but next time I might try. As I was getting ready to go super quickly after work last night, my daughter told me how proud she was of the weight I've lost and how much happier (and social) it's made me. Fat stopped me from enjoying life and people. No more!!! And, this week I get to start getting ready for the Queensryche concert that I bought tickets for my husband, which is next weekend. TMI, but Mr. W wants me to wear a leather miniskirt. Ummm... I don't know if that's going to happen. If it looks unsausagelike, I may do it, but I'm going to have to start some serious shopping this week.
Oh, and I think apologies are in order for my lack of editing in these blog posts. Sorry about the sentence structure in the above paragraph. And, when I was talking about my last band fill (from a couple of weeks ago), it's a "c"oring needle not a "b"oring needle. That's been haunting me. And, women should "w"eild power, not "y"eild power (from my post yesterday). Those are the only two that bother me. Too bad I can't send my blog through the same editing process I do at work. I'm pretty certain there have been lots of other errors I should have caught, so thanks for bearing with me. You know what I mean!
Spontaneous:
If I decide to shower today, will that count? I love staying in my pj's all day, at least one day out of the weekend. No worries!
Food:
Mr. W woke up early and made bacon, sausage, ham & cheese omelettes, hash browns, french toast, cantaloupe, grapes, orange juice, chocolate milk, and regular milk. Seriously, all of that. And, he invited his parents over. My band is working really well, I had a couple of bites of omelette (because it's my favorite), and a few bites of hashbrowns (just because!). I've had a little second serving of omelette for late lunch. I should also confess the lemonheads, swedish fish, and sour patch kids I've eaten while watching movies this afternoon. Altogether, I estimate about 1,000 calories so far. Not great choices, but also not pigging out. So, I'm still at acceptance right now. Please remind me to not beat myself up when I start PMS'ing. Back to an awful movie ("Love Happens", but that movie does NOT), I said I'd be right back in a minute, and it's been five... no wonder I have no editing in my posts... bye...
Friday, February 5, 2010
QOFE
Pronounced Kw-OH-fee. In case I wasn't the last person on the earth to hear this word, it is a variation on the acronym for "Queen Of Fucking Everything". I first heard it a couple of years ago where I currently work, obviously with a bunch of QOFE's. I am one. And, I do believe there are one or two or ten other QOFE's in band blog land. Some are sweet about it. Some disguise it. Some are unabashidly unapologetic. Some are faking it till they make it (perfectly acceptable in my book). Some were simply born to rule the world. Some handle power with grace, some less so. Some don't realize the power they actually yeild. But, I am fairly convinced that there are many, many QOFE's in our little community. These are merely my personal observations, no judgement attached. No good, no bad, it just is.
I hold firm to my thought that the band is not for cheaters, but only for the strong. It is for those looking for a competitive edge... most of us are not used to losing. We are addicted to success. It is ours to take, and we are doing so. And most beautifully, although admittedly not perfectly, we are helping each other to succeed. We understand each others fears and failures, but most importantly- each others potentials! We have exceedingly high expectations for ourselves, and often for those around us, but are learning to be gentle with ourselves, and with each other. We bandster QOFE's have the power to lift, motivate, lead, and make change. The only place we are losers is in weight, and in my opinion, we are also the queens of that.
Spontaneous:
I just called a bunch or really strong women queen's of fucking everything to their faces...
Food:
Healthy, but not so high in protein. Granola bars, yogurt, cheese stick, frozen lasagna. It's about 700 calories, maybe 30 grams protein. My darling daughter made cupcakes last night, and I had a little frosting incident... I controlled it to the best of my ability. Enjoyed it, refused to feel guilty about it. It was a little difficult to wash the majority of it down the sink, but it was the only way... sigh...
I hold firm to my thought that the band is not for cheaters, but only for the strong. It is for those looking for a competitive edge... most of us are not used to losing. We are addicted to success. It is ours to take, and we are doing so. And most beautifully, although admittedly not perfectly, we are helping each other to succeed. We understand each others fears and failures, but most importantly- each others potentials! We have exceedingly high expectations for ourselves, and often for those around us, but are learning to be gentle with ourselves, and with each other. We bandster QOFE's have the power to lift, motivate, lead, and make change. The only place we are losers is in weight, and in my opinion, we are also the queens of that.
Spontaneous:
I just called a bunch or really strong women queen's of fucking everything to their faces...
Food:
Healthy, but not so high in protein. Granola bars, yogurt, cheese stick, frozen lasagna. It's about 700 calories, maybe 30 grams protein. My darling daughter made cupcakes last night, and I had a little frosting incident... I controlled it to the best of my ability. Enjoyed it, refused to feel guilty about it. It was a little difficult to wash the majority of it down the sink, but it was the only way... sigh...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
It's not fun unless it's naughty...
Sex and sweets. Do it like you mean it. Purposefully. Slowly. Choose the very best and savor it. It is only pleasurable that way. It is only good for the soul that way. And, it is necessary for true physical and emotional health.
If you want some candy, or desert, or your favorite treat, do it! Buy only small quantities, or throw out too much, or force your family and friends to take the excess (believe me, they will not be upset about that, and you may become very popular in the process). But, there are times when we need the emotional satisfaction that comes from enjoying all of our physical senses. Denying ourselves doesn't make our needs go away. Learning to accept and enjoy the things that bring us intense pleasure is key to living a full life.
Spontaneous:
Sex and chocolate. Amazing. Epiphany material. Truly. The chocolate was cheap and easy (wink wink), but the textures and taste... ummmmmmm. Dear god, seriously a religious experience.
Food:
It appears I will be fasting today as I brought the wrong lunch. One of the kids is going to get a healthy surprise in a few hours!
If you want some candy, or desert, or your favorite treat, do it! Buy only small quantities, or throw out too much, or force your family and friends to take the excess (believe me, they will not be upset about that, and you may become very popular in the process). But, there are times when we need the emotional satisfaction that comes from enjoying all of our physical senses. Denying ourselves doesn't make our needs go away. Learning to accept and enjoy the things that bring us intense pleasure is key to living a full life.
Spontaneous:
Sex and chocolate. Amazing. Epiphany material. Truly. The chocolate was cheap and easy (wink wink), but the textures and taste... ummmmmmm. Dear god, seriously a religious experience.
Food:
It appears I will be fasting today as I brought the wrong lunch. One of the kids is going to get a healthy surprise in a few hours!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Blog Pressure
There is alot of pressure to perform when the whole world (or several people) are reading about your weight loss progress, or as for some of us, slowness! I should have been happy with the 190, because today was 191. It was impossible for me to have gained fat weight, because the most calories I've eaten is 1800. Mixed news is, I had to buy some work slacks a couple of weeks ago, because I just couldn't wear my bigger ones any longer- and my new ones lasted 10 days before I had to buy the next size down. My daughter tried to talk me into getting the 14's from the beginning, but my mind set is still set on "big". I need to trust her from here on out, because without the scale moving, it's difficult for me to acknowledge that I'm actually smaller. Shopping can be so fun, but there's a part of me that doesn't know what to make of it. I fully plan on working on that issue!!!
Yesterday, I was home with a migraine. The throwing up kind. I'm back at work today, but probably shouldn't have driven because my eyesight is still a little blurry. Is it wrong to hope that I've lost weight from this experience? How warped is that? But, that would make it slightly worth it? Crazy. But, true.
Spontaneous:
Go to hell. ;)~
Food:
What's the sound of puking? I don't know how to spell it... I have food in the fridge, but I don't think it's going to happen. Will this end already?
Yesterday, I was home with a migraine. The throwing up kind. I'm back at work today, but probably shouldn't have driven because my eyesight is still a little blurry. Is it wrong to hope that I've lost weight from this experience? How warped is that? But, that would make it slightly worth it? Crazy. But, true.
Spontaneous:
Go to hell. ;)~
Food:
What's the sound of puking? I don't know how to spell it... I have food in the fridge, but I don't think it's going to happen. Will this end already?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
The party is over
Monday, and back to work. It's like the day after Christmas feeling. Good memories, though! I got lots of Bath and Body Works... so, I may just open up a store because I think I have enough product to do so. B&BW's always makes me happy, so I'm not complaining. I also got alot of handmade stationary, etc. Very cute. Some people have alot of talent. I also got some accessories, jewelry and a cute scarf.
Party food was very good. Hubbie had it catered by Famous Daves, so lot's of protein choices. My band is really on the job, so I could barely get much meat down. Sadly, cake and M&M's went down with absolutely no problem at all. I didn't worry about calories or anything, just wanted to have fun. And, I did!
Spontaneous:
Um. Yeah.
Food:
Too busy to care. But, the remainder of the cake (white cake, raspberry filling, whipped cream frosting) is being tossed before I get home (I have a good daughter). That's my biggest food plan for the day!
Party food was very good. Hubbie had it catered by Famous Daves, so lot's of protein choices. My band is really on the job, so I could barely get much meat down. Sadly, cake and M&M's went down with absolutely no problem at all. I didn't worry about calories or anything, just wanted to have fun. And, I did!
Spontaneous:
Um. Yeah.
Food:
Too busy to care. But, the remainder of the cake (white cake, raspberry filling, whipped cream frosting) is being tossed before I get home (I have a good daughter). That's my biggest food plan for the day!
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