Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Am I sorry?

Am I sorry about getting my tummy tuck? Right this exact second- yes. I've always considered myself as someone with a high threshold for pain. But this chronic pain is going to drive me nuts. Right now, I'd much rather deal with flappity flap flapper than this pain. I KNOW I'm going to change my mind about being sorry as soon as I'm back to normal, but right now I am miserable, and just thought I'd spread the misery.

My three week follow up appointment is this afternoon. Incision sites look good, scabbing coming off, no s/s infection. Still lots of "seroma". Lots. And then a little more. There are a few reinforcement stitches that need to be pulled. Did I mention I'm still in pain?

Moving on to real life... I am in the midst of baby shower planning for my daughter. I love parties. I was hoping to be in my skinny jeans by then, but unless there is an un-swelling miracle, I will be in my fat jeans. My daughter laughed at me the other day because I called my current jeans my fat jeans... what a joke compared to even one year ago. AND, she brought me up a pair of HER old jeans, because she "doesn't like the way the fabric feels". But, the point is... my daughter THINKS I can wear HER jeans. Secret confession- I can't fit into them. Not at all. I did the one thigh try-on (you KNOW what I'm talking about), and it was a definite no-go. When I'm healed more, I plan on trying a good old fashioned jeans cram-in on the bed (you also KNOW what I'm talking about here, too!?!)... laying down to wiggle them on, then zipping them up while sucking in as much as possible, then trying to get off of the bed, and then praying you do not have to pee for the next 12 hours.

I would be so happy if I could meet my skinny jeans goal. But, you know what? I have NOT met one single weight goal by my goal DATE. BUT, BUT... I still have met them ALL! Every single one so far. I (we?) push myself so hard with these timeframes and expectations... and that is lame. I think alot lately about Gen's first SOB spotlight on Judi... and how she took two years to lose her weight. I believe she has it right. Two years means she enjoyed birthdays, and vacations, and weekends, and LIFE. AND SHE STILL LOST ALL OF HER WEIGHT. That is truly a lesson for me.

Send good ju ju for my appointment this afternoon. And, for my poor doctor who currently has no clue about how his afternoon is shaping up... :)


  1. Hope all goes well at the appointment and sorry for the pain.... It will be worth it, My legs were anyway
    Have fun with the shower planning :)

  2. I was wondering how you were feeling, you have been so brave sharing your experience with us. I was shocked but its good to know what a big decision a tummy tuck is. It sounds so cute doesnt it? Hope your appointment went well and that the doc gave you something for the pain. Thinking of you, take care x

  3. *hugs* Hopefully the pain will dim to a bad memory soon and you will be rocking those jeans!

  4. Ah yes - the regret phase. The pain for me wasn't so much about the intensity but just that pain existed so far out. Bearable but to be in pain for so many days is completely physically and mentally taxing. Get out the preop pics - stare at them - already there is a difference you can't deny. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger and you're one of the strongest women I know. Hang in there....

  5. I'm sorry you are still in pain, but like you said, it will be so worth it when you are in those skinny jeans. Hopefully your appointment went well.