Friday, May 7, 2010

Wonder Woman

If you prefer not to read about sex, this would be a good post to skip, because I do plan on mentioning it a time or two.

First though, my second drain completely lost suction last night, and I couldn't fix the leak or stand the "ssssssss" sound it was making, so I pulled it. Well, I called my surgeon and told him what I was doing.

me: "my drain has lost all suction"
doctor: "it's not doing anything"
me: "(mentally "duh") so I'm going to pull it, ok?"
doctor: "don't forget to cut the stitches. you'll remember it if you don't"
me: "(mentally "double duh") ok, there's two, and i'll be sure to get both"

I had a difficult time seeing the stitches, so Mr. W went WAY out of his comfort zone, and helped me snip the stitches. They were "encrusted", so I really appreciated his help. I pulled the rest. Whew. No more balls. Then Mr. W asks if I'm going to cut off my other ones. NOPE. The metaphoric ones STAY. :)

So, sweet little innocent Draz(e)brought up sex every night? And, also "faking it". Draz, you can't brush on THAT topic so lightly. Let's talk about that? Sex really is my favorite subject, and I'd like to discuss this with my favorite girl friends. I also am a big believer in women taking responsiblity for their own sexual satisfaction... if you don't know how to make yourself orgasm, how the hell can anyone else? Sorry if I'm weird. I'm not. You all like the subject, too. So whatever, because I know you do.

Speaking of sexual satisfaction. Not so much in our house. I'm still too much of an invalid. The thought has definitely crossed my mind... maybe now that I don't have nasty drains... those were really "TOO" gross, even for us. Mr. W says when I can stand upright, then he'll be ready. That could take months, so I may have to initiate things. Soon. Someone talked about "DSB" in one of the comments to Drazil on her sex post. "Deadly Seamen Backup"- I need to tell my husband about this dangerous condition! He did this mental "turn off" when I had my surgery, and I believe it is truly and honestly causing real depression in him. Geez. Just do it in the shower already. I know that's what he probably did before we were married. It's just biological, it's not always about "love" and "connecting emotionally". Sometimes it is purely about getting the JOB DONE. I would prefer THAT over a depressed man, and it could KILL him. Holy hell.

I at least have the assurance of knowing he's thinking long term though. That brings us to Wonder Woman. When I first met Gilly in blogger world, I loved her Wonder Woman characatures, for a couple of reasons. First, because my husband has a WW fetish. Second, because her WW is chubby AND sexy. I thought it was absolutely fabulous. I've been waiting to indulge Mr. W in his WW fantasy until I was thin. I've been putting it off, but now that I've had my surgery, my days are numbered. How do I know this for certain? Well, the notebook he bought for me to write down my narcotics times and drains output was a WONDER WOMAN notebook. One afternoon this week, he gave me a WW figurine for my desk (and I am NOT a nick nack kinda girl). Yesterday, he started sending me "links" for WW outfits... to my work email... and telling me maybe not to open them up at work... ???

Anyway, don't tell him, but this WW outfit idea is actually getting a little exciting for me. I may not even wait until Halloween. Kidding. It will NOT be for public display. Wait, does that make the visual better or worse? Kidding again. So, I just wanted to chime in on the sex topic, because sex sells. We all love it. I love it. I love to talk about it. I like to read about it (a little bit, anyway).

On that note... have a great weekend everyone...

7 comments:

  1. LOL hilarious and entertaining post! The WW thing is verrrryyy interesting - but you know we will make you take a pic and put it on your blog!!!

    BTW I once had a red gingham sundress and DH often requested it because it reminded him of Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island....I later learned that men prefer Mary Ann to Ginger by a very large margin...

    Where is there a discussion about faking it? Women still do this? It can't be married women, right? What would be the point? I better find that blog....

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  2. Love your post! I love sex as much as I love food, trust me....that's scarey!

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  3. Um - rest assured you little perv. I shall do a post on faking and you can comment 50 times. Wonder Woman - to die for. I want pictures. And can you say skinny? My God. Wow. Good for pulling the drain out - I wanted to but only had mine in for a week or less I think so I tolerated them. DSB is serious - alert your husband - take care of that issue ASAP. Did you surgeon give you a time limit before sex? Some do. Some don't. Mine didn't and I used to read about some girls doing it like the day after?! I felt too crappy for that I tell ya! I love you to pieces.

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  4. You would HAVE to post a picture!

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  5. But she's so SHY about posting pictures! ;)

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  6. ha ha too funny for words x

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  7. You go girl! Don't forget the lasso.

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