Apologies in advance. I'm tired, and since it's the middle of the night, I've hijacked the l&d computer for my own personal use. Where are we... cytotec x 5 doses and nothing. Pitocin x 12 hours and nothing. Membranes ruptured x 8 hrs and basically nothing. She's at 3 cm and 70% effaced. It might be the sleep deprivation and all my years in an operating room... but TAKE THIS BABY ALREADY. They just started a Narcan drip because the epidural is giving her hives. Oh, and my daughter is in love with the wonderful (and painless) lab tech and also her amazing anethesiologist (notice a lack of pain theme here?). My first two labors were natural. And then I saw my sister give birth with an epidural and wondered why I had missed the boat on that one. My third labor I opted for the epidural, and I loved loved loved it. And I bounced right back (at a slightly older age I might add), so for me it certainly didn't make my labor or recovery prolonged or more difficult.
While I'm in this slightly morbid mood, I feel the need to tell you that one of my greatest fears came true. So, remember the picture from two or so posts ago that my sweet Mr. W posted... the one with my son and I on the ferris wheel? I mentioned that I was frightened on it? While I was on it, I was honestly thinking, and couldn't stop thinking, that this was NOT the way I wanted to die. Guess what happened last night? One of the carnival workers died on that very ride. The very exact same one that I was completely terrified on. I will absolutely never be getting on another carnival ride. Ever. Ever. Ever.
I can't think of any other crappy news, so I'm going to try to close my eyes for a little while. I have got to get a grip here and focus on the positive energy of this birth and new little life beginning. It is so important to me that my grandson be welcomed and raised with everything he deserves. What do you think of "Mimi" as my grandma name? I liked "Nana" also, I don't know why I didn't think of that one. My maternal grandma was from the south and I called her "Memaw" when I was little. That one is not for me, but I want something cute.
Thanks for bearing with me. Again. Love and hugs and sleep...