Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Can you read that sign?

Much to my daughter,s mortification, I made her take this picture today. If it's too blurry to read... it says... SUPER CHINA. Yup, this is going to be a TMI post about my post tummy tuck private part... so leave now if you are too delicate for this subject.

I've been trying to find a way to present this subject, and when I saw this store today, well... it was a sign. Literally and figuratively. My China. My NEW China after surgery. I promised I would be honest about my experience, so I am going to live up to my word. Enough of a long prelude?

So, my China is now much closer to my belly button than I would have thought physically possible. This causes a very new problem. I pee straight out. Like a guy. Right after my surgery, I thought there was something wrong because I couldn't pee. Well, after the nurse laughed at me, she reminded me that pulling my China up, also pulled my urethra up. Duh, but one of those things I had not anticipated.

NOW, I HAVE A SUPER CHINA! I can hit walls with my pee! If I wait and have to go badly, watch the hell out, and have the bathroom cleaner and lysol wipes ready. I must consciously AIM DOWN every single time I go to the bathroom. I don't know if this is good or bad or neither, but it is an honest consequence of my tummy tuck.

Does my China now have "other" super powers, you're wondering? You were wondering that right? Well, I think "everything" is a little more taught. More taught equals more sensitive. I could be imagining it, and I'm just getting back into the swing of things (because of the pain I had for so long)... but I do believe there just might be a really fabulous consequence of my tummy tuck. Hell, I'll pee like a guy if I can come like one, too. Yes, I did just say that. I warned all delicate flowers to turn back many paragraphs ago.

So, there you have it. The post that has needed to be told, but I didn't know how to bring it up. I hope the SUPER CHINA store doesn't sue me now. I'll just use their bathroom if they get nasty. :)


  1. You are so funny. I am amazed by and jealous of your China's superpowers.

  2. I'll just be happy if I can ever see mine again....

  3. Ha ha ha I laughed so much! First you look great in your photo, very slinky.
    Second I took a peek at mine yesterday (lifting the tummy out of the way first) and I have grey hairs down there! WTF? So CathyB you might not like what you see.

    After seeing all your post op pics I think a super china is the least you should expect. Congrats!

  4. lol Super China huh! Love it. I do love your pics - you are looking slim and trim and totally terrific. Mwah..

  5. That is hysterical! I would have never thought a tummy tuck would have that kinda of a side effect. Thanks for sharing though, for those of us who are anticipating a TT!

  6. I have tears running down my face!! I love this. Thanks for the info. - I love keeping it real. Now I'm going to have a new topic of conversation to have with Drazil. Heee hee.

  7. Oh, my, god. I am laughing so hard people are staring.

    Enjoy you new china!

  8. Now THAT made me laugh out loud! Weird! But hilarious! Enjoy your "added bonus"...multiple times! ;)