Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Hypnosis Failure

I've been wanting to share on my blog a little bit of my weekly therapy because I think that it has been equally as significant in my weight loss as my band. I'm not into sharing my "feelings", hence the need for psychoanalysis. It helps me to recognize feelings (hello right brain!) and reprocess ones that have a negative impact on my life. I've learned to stay in the moment. I've learned to not judge (especially myself). I've learned that there isn't "good" or "bad", and instead seek to understand what feelings or what my body is trying to tell me. I've learned the importance and power of meditation. These may sound like obvious concepts, but they weren't to me and focusing my attention in this direction has changed me profoundly.

My psychologist is actually a researcher. He's an expert on pain relief. He studies epigenomes and how they affect the development of our brains and feelings and bodies. He is one of the most brilliant men I've ever met, and I am extremely fortunate to have been accepted as his patient. Well, I think I'm a case study, so it's win/win. Anyway, my belabored point is that he does some really cool stuff.

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that we were going to try hypnosis. It didn't work for me. I was so anxious to have a HUGE "break through" that it didn't even come close to happening. I don't think there really is anything that is latent from my past. I remember it all. Unfortunately.

However, I have started doing the coolest thing. Art therapy. Not making baskets or crafts. But drawing my "feelings" (right brain). I don't "think" (left brain)about what I'm going to draw, I just draw what I'm feeling. And it has been extremely therapeutic. The first picture I drew was of my fibromyalgia pain. Having tangible evidence of what I was feeling, made it so real. Being able to show someone what it felt like was relieving beyond anything I've ever tried. I've since had two other profound drawings. Not technical. I'm not an artist. These aren't Van Gogh's. But, in many ways just as telling.

My point is that I keep in mind that there is more to weight gain and weight loss (for some people anyway) than just overeating. While my therapy is not about weight, coming to understand myself and my feelings helps me to be true to myself. Good to myself. To be gentle with myself. I'm still learning and RE-learning, but this every bit as instrumental in my health as my band. And, I wanted to share just a little bit of this with you.

Oh, and I really want to see 173lbs tomorrow... I'm WAITING! See how much I've improved??? Sigh. It's ok. Anyone remember the 191 drama? I thought I'd be at that weight forever. That was almost twenty pounds ago. So, I'm letting this go. I'll get there. I'll get beyond there. And I'll be there with you my dear BOOBs!


  1. 173 vibes headed your way!!!!

    Thanks for the Birthday Wishes!!!

  2. Wow awesome post! That is so cool all the work you are doing. And dang 173???? Excellent!

  3. I must do a post about something similar to is great isn't it...>I used to express my self through scrapbooking...I really relate to this...thanks

  4. This is really wonderful. I think it's great that you are getting so much out of therapy!

  5. Absolutely fascinating! Thanks for sharing. Let's go 173!! You can *DO THIS!* :)

  6. I think its wonderful that you've found something that is helping you heal!

    And lets hope for 173!!