So, a while back there was this awesome blog post where some chick wrote about how she "didn't get the band to LOSE weight, but to KEEP IT OFF". Oh, wait... that was ME. This is exactly why I blog...thank you for all the words of encouragement as I try to get my head straight about my weight. I do have faith in my Babette. It's the Babe (me) part I'm still trying to understand. I really used to think if I wasn't losing, then I was gaining. That is not only a hideous diet mentality, but can really set you up for an eating disorder. When I was thinking that way, I was running lots, and ended up losing 160 pounds, going from 280 to 120 pounds. I wasn't dieting, though. Because I wasn't eating (unless I had to). Unfortunately, even with my band, I will probably always have to be in tune with what and how much I'm eating. When I've tested my band... she's really pulled through. But, as we all know, we can sabatoge the effects of our band. Which, I have not done.
My past has really screwed with the way I view normal eating. Whatever that is. This time I'm trying to not be all crazy strict about food... I'm trying to eat what I honestly think I can continue to eat for the rest of my life. This way is obviously not the epitome of the perfect and terricially balanced healthy diet, BUT IT'S DOABLE I'M GOING FOR THIS FINAL TIME. I can do this... with Babette... and your support... and if I remember for two minutes the things I'm learning...
Alot of this has to do with my appointment tomorrow. I'm stressed because I haven't lost anything in almost three weeks. And mathematically, weight loss should have happened. 184 is my new 191... remember that? I sure do! Also, I think my surgeon had wanted me to lose more weight before my tummy surgery... and I'm not sure I'm willing to eat any less than I am right now, and I'm obviously not losing. Circles here, sorry. I am estimating my excess skin weighs ten pounds... there's alot of it. I posted a picture of it months ago, and it's worse now. Even though I'm not losing pounds presently, I am going down in sizes, and the smaller I get, the larger my pita flap gets. EWWWWW.
Admitting what a crazy nut I am. :)
Strawberry/yogurt Zone bar, greek yogurt & honey, steak and potatoes. 700 calories, 46 grams of protein until dinner. I did do very well not grazing last night. It's really just a matter of being mindful of what I'm doing. And I think you can see how difficult that is for this crazy nut! I appreciate you loving me anyway, I really do.