Saturday, February 27, 2010

I have created a monster.

We decided to just hang out at home last night. Mr. W was feeling a little tired and after the end of the week we had, so was I. I figured I would take it all the way, and not even cook, so leftovers it was. Now, I like many things done in a certain way (aka "my way" or "the right way")... including COVERING ALL ITEMS THAT GO IN THE MICROWAVE. Can anyone visualize LASAGNA, heated up for several minutes, UNCOVERED, and what the inside of a microwave oven looks like after such an episode? I have a feeling many of you can. Not only do I like things done a certain way, I also am very direct in expressing my thoughts and feelings. Mr. W calls it something else, that rhymes with "w"itching (of course he says that with all the love in his heart). So, I began expressing my thoughts, when he looks at me... flashes me this wicked... boyish... grin... and says... "You're lucky I'm even alive!". Then he starts laughing. He couldn't WAIT to say that! He must have had that planned the entire day! Ah ha ha ha. SO funny. And, that is why I love him so.

So, on a more serious note. Stress eating. Sugar. I did it last night. No coping mechanisms in sight. I am really stressed over a stepchild situation. I feel very powerless, and none of my best strategies have been successful. I can try and conquer my baggage, but unfortunately I can't do it for other people. And sometimes fixing me is just not enough. Said stepchild is returning to his mother's home during spring break (two more weeks), and I feel awful, but I'm so incredible relieved. I've really tried to act like nothing was wrong. The whole scenario where there's an elephant in the room, but everyone acts as if they don't see it? That is torture to me. And, it makes me cope in very subconscious ways. Last night, after not being able to address yet another problem directly... I hit up the last of some frosted mini wheats. Because it was just the fine, grainy stuff... the sugar at the bottom? Got a spoon... and started shoveling. Didn't even realize what I was doing until AFTER the fact. I don't think I'll gain weight from this indiscretion, but the whole thing worries me. I still don't have stress/emotional eating worked out. Sometimes it appears I don't even know it's happening. And I also realized what a comfort calorie counting is to me. If I had been able to measure what I was doing, I don't think I would have been nearly as worried about the incident. I am still learning so much about myself. Hard work!

Well, I'm off to spend time with ALL of my monsters. Mr. W and I plan to continue in our just hang out mode. I hope that means pj's ALL DAY! My littlest monster (yes, the five year old) wants the computer. He's got stuff to do! So, I'm out of here. Happy weekend...


  1. I love the smart-assyness of your hubby! Evil! That's the good stuff right there.

    Good thing it was Mini-Wheats and not a big bag of Doritos. ;)

  2. I love P.J.'s all day!! That's my goal for tomorrow. I have lofty goal.

  3. OMG I'm the same way, I also can't handle elephants in a room. I'm sure you are a wonderful stepmom and that things are going to work out somehow.
    Have a great PJ day! I'm doing that tomorrow! Yay!

  4. I love men with a wicked sense of humour and your hubby has it in spades.
    I hope things sort regarding your step-child but you know, whatever happens, they couldn't ask for a better stepmom. I think you are just gorgeous.. sugar shoveler or not!!