Thursday, February 25, 2010

How to scare the shit out of your wife who is a nurse

Step 1-
Be visibly sick with sweating and nausea. Stay in the bathroom and answer all questions with a fair amount of distress in your voice. Lay in bed with the light ON and a frightened look on your face.
Step 2-
Let your wife go to bed, telling her you are fine.
Step 3-
Tell her the NEXT MORNING that you were having chest and left arm pain preceding, and during, said diaphoresis and nausea.
Step 4-
Drive to the ED instead of to work.
Step 5-
Aspirin, EKG, labs, iv fluids, stress test. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Step 6-
Find out that functionally, everything is fine. If symptoms return, anatomical studies will be necessary. Cholesterol and triglycerides off the charts. Aspirin, statins, and prevacid prescribed.
Step 7-
Follow up w/ PCP scheduled.
Step 8-
Continue cleaned up diet and exercise regime initiated one week ago.
Step 9-
Make pact with spouse that you will ALWAYS tell her EVERYTHING that is going on when you are sick.


  1. Good grief... he'd scare the bejeebers out of me too. Glad all is well now.

  2. Good Lord.. nothing like an adrenaline you will probably sleep with one eye opened.

    Glad it all turned out OK.. but geezz especially since you are a nurse.. Hopefully he doesn't have to shovel any of this snow..

  3. Aren't men hopeless - can just imagine my Dad doing the exact same to my mum (also a nurse!)

  4. Holy Crap! I'd be scared shitless too! I hope that doesn't happen again. Glad he's gotten on meds.

  5. OMGoodness!!! I'd be yelling at my DH, except I'd be afraid to cause something more! Whew! Glad he's on some good meds and has make the sacred pact! You poor thing...scary! ((hugs))

  6. oh no - I hope he's OK. Maybe this will scare him into getting his cholesterol levels down. Hope you've calmed down a bit.

  7. Wow! What a scary time for you!! I hope he keeps to his promise and lets you know if he is experiencing anymore symptoms! Which I hope he doesn't of course!!