Friday, February 12, 2010

Spontaneous, Impulsive, Instinctive

Every day, I think about my "word" for the year- spontaneous. I want to embody a certain essence in my life that I believe has been lacking, and in turn has been holding me back from living my life to the fullest. Part of that I think has contributed to my weight issues. I guess I'm now attempting a more wholistic approach to everything in my life. This isn't just about weight loss, it's much bigger than that.

In order to continue to understand, for myself, what it is I'm trying to achieve, I've come accross some additional meanings and synonyms for "spontaneous". The word itself implies lack of prompting and connotes naturalness. The word "impulsive" can have some negative connotations, but simply it only implies acting under emotion or spirit of the moment. The second synonym is "instinctive" which stresses action involving neither judgment nor will. This year I want to be all about natural feelings, real emotion, and actions that stem from those without any judgment of myself.

No more thinking everything through and beyond. I can't make a right hand turn without planning it half a mile in advance. Who cares? No more suppressing what I truly think and feel. I am now owning my emotions, and making it clear to the negative people in my life that I'm no longer interested. And, I am letting myself off the hook for alot. Well, actually everything. I can't do anything about the past, but accept it for what it was, and move on. And honestly, my past isn't anything major, but for how hard I've been on myself? Well, let's just say it's been a little disproportional.

I am eating what I want. I am drinking what I want. I am driving for scenery and not time. I shop slowly at Wal-Mart, no pressure, and no longer leave with a headache. I take the time and expense to get monthly manicures AND pedicures. I got weight loss surgery. I am cutting out toxic family members. I am being true to my heart and head and publicly expressing all of my liberalism (this might not sound big to some, but is huge given my upbringing). I believe in civil and human rights for everyone. I believe in seperation of church and state. I am against organized religion, but believe in personal spirituality. This is the range of what I'm trying to accomplish. Everything from what should be mindless activities such as eating all the way through defining my world and attempting to understand the universe. This word "spontaneous" is no small thing for me, but daily it manifests itself in my life in almost all small things. Including weight loss.

The usual. 45 grams of protein is the important part. This weekend, I will be eating well... as in out... delicious... no diet mentality... just small portions of whatever I really want. I am excited for my weekend, and I promise it will be alot lighter and more fun than this post! I'll tell you all about our trip and concert on Monday. Happy Valentines day and long weekend! Be safe.

1 comment:

  1. As usual a great post from you. I love that you are really getting out there and doing things!! You are a great person x