Thursday, February 25, 2010

How to scare the shit out of your wife who is a nurse

Step 1-
Be visibly sick with sweating and nausea. Stay in the bathroom and answer all questions with a fair amount of distress in your voice. Lay in bed with the light ON and a frightened look on your face.
Step 2-
Let your wife go to bed, telling her you are fine.
Step 3-
Tell her the NEXT MORNING that you were having chest and left arm pain preceding, and during, said diaphoresis and nausea.
Step 4-
Drive to the ED instead of to work.
Step 5-
Aspirin, EKG, labs, iv fluids, stress test. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Step 6-
Find out that functionally, everything is fine. If symptoms return, anatomical studies will be necessary. Cholesterol and triglycerides off the charts. Aspirin, statins, and prevacid prescribed.
Step 7-
Follow up w/ PCP scheduled.
Step 8-
Continue cleaned up diet and exercise regime initiated one week ago.
Step 9-
Make pact with spouse that you will ALWAYS tell her EVERYTHING that is going on when you are sick.

7 comments:

  1. Good grief... he'd scare the bejeebers out of me too. Glad all is well now.

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  2. Good Lord.. nothing like an adrenaline rush..now you will probably sleep with one eye opened.

    Glad it all turned out OK.. but geezz especially since you are a nurse.. Hopefully he doesn't have to shovel any of this snow..

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  3. Aren't men hopeless - can just imagine my Dad doing the exact same to my mum (also a nurse!)

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  4. Holy Crap! I'd be scared shitless too! I hope that doesn't happen again. Glad he's gotten on meds.

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  5. OMGoodness!!! I'd be yelling at my DH, except I'd be afraid to cause something more! Whew! Glad he's on some good meds and has make the sacred pact! You poor thing...scary! ((hugs))

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  6. oh no - I hope he's OK. Maybe this will scare him into getting his cholesterol levels down. Hope you've calmed down a bit.

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  7. Wow! What a scary time for you!! I hope he keeps to his promise and lets you know if he is experiencing anymore symptoms! Which I hope he doesn't of course!!

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