Thursday, March 18, 2010

Stress Fest

I'm starting the downward spiral into PMS craving/ eating. Anyone else familiar with that? Add to that any amount of stress? And I'm standing at the pantry door looking for relief, food relief. That's my woefully inadequate method of coping. Last night, I had a stress fest. This was THE BEST STRESS FEST I've ever had... for several reasons. One, my band simply would not allow it. I topped out at about 1800calories for the entire day. There was a time, not so long ago, that a stress fest would have been 1000+ calories just by itself. Secondly, even though I wasn't able to recognize it (I honestly still don't catch myself), my husband WAS able to recognize it, simply because I next to never do that anymore. He asked me what I was stressed about, and poof just like that... I was sucked back into reality. That helped more than I can say. Thirdly, I'm not beating myself up over the situation. That is so relieving! I'm thinking it was no big deal, it happens even to thin people, I physically wasn't able to do much damage, and my family is able to recognize where I'm at. I feel so liberated this morning. It's a huge relief to not have guilt over this, but control and understanding. I've come a long way, baby.

The scale is holding steady at 184. My work slacks are falling off. Time to move down to the 12's. It's also time for me to set up my appointment with my surgeon for the beginning of April. I'm planning on a teeny tiny fill, maybe .25, to bring me up to 4cc's in my band. I'm also going to start panniculectomy proceedings. Fingers crossed. The more weight I lose, the worse it gets. I'm not going to belabor the "medical necessity" at this point in time, but I will keep everyone updated.

Zero stress over food.

Last night my daughter made a fabulous homemade mac n' cheese with radiatore pasta... delicious. My stress fest foods included two girl scout cookies, one oreo cookie, and some sugary cereal. I didn't even leave the pantry, just stood there searching for something. In retrospect, it's obvious it's NOT food I was really looking for. Today at work I have a Zone bar, ACTIVIA w/ cottage cheese, meatloaf & mashed potatoes, and POPCORN. 700 calories, over 40 grams of protein. Tomorrow, I am planning on movie theatre popcorn... and I have been 100% in planning wiggle room for that kind of splurge. The RUNAWAYS comes out tomorrow... and we are huge Joan Jett fans and wouldn't miss this movie for anything. We went to see her in concert in October. She kicks ass. And she's in amazing shape for 50+. My hero!


  1. Yes I totally know what you are saying. I would definitely with no problem or hesitation each the whole half gallon of ice cream.. Now I can only shove about 1/2 cup in one sitting. Sounds sick doesn't it.. but I look at the damanage I would have done.. I feel guilty as hell still afterwards.. Glad your inner you is clicking.. that's progress in my book.

  2. Heck yeah - I find about a week before I'm due - I search out everything and anything. I go into mini-tornado mode as I snack.. and snack..and snack. Kinda sucks.

  3. As you said, you certainly couldn't "Pig Out" like in the past since that band doesn't let you. That is one reason I wanted the band-to stop my binges. Now that I'm off sugar, the cravings are less, unless I have too many carbs again. I'm in menopause but the cravings never stop.

    Congrats on getting rid of the baggy pants and moving to a lower size.

  4. 12's - That is great!
    Good job hubby for "pointing out the stress factor" and that you aren't stressing over food!
    Have fun with the Runaway's & Popcorn!

    PS- did you ask me how tall I am? I've been a slacker if so,I am just under 5'11" I've shrunk a little I was 6' even for years. If you didn't ask... I'm telling you anyway. Blame it on the meds!