Saturday, January 9, 2010


First, a reflection of the naked variety. Please see the picture to your left. That is a picture of my personal, very own, panniculus. Say "hello" to my little friend! It's like having a siamese twin attached. It even talks when I walk, but all it can say is "flap,flap,flap". Not very bright, but we're stuck together. Did you know I would maybe be able to fit into two sizes smaller if panni was gone? That's what my surgeon told me at my last fill in November. He said there's more of it than there is of me. Lovely. Now, I'm back to worrying and hoping insurance will help take care of this. I think I can make a strong case of medical necessity. It hurts my back, it makes it difficult to exercise, etc... I'll post the letter when I get to the point of submitting my clinical for review. For the sake of transparency, I will tell you that I work with the nurses who make the determinations for bariatric surgery (lapband), and possibly covered procedures (panniculectomy). Working with them does not make my chances any greater for insurance paying. I worry. Just like everyone else. I don't even care about a tummy tuck (although that would be nice), but I just want this grotesque hanging meat GONE. Once I get to my goal weight, I'm going to start the authorization process, so that will be (fingers crossed) late spring, early summer. Please share any experiences you've had, I'd appreciate it.

I love Saturday mornings. I can lazily lay in bed and think (until the kids come in). It's a nice time to reflect, and this morning I was pondering my fortieth birthday coming up, and how things have changed since my last birthday. I was working on getting my approval for surgery this time last year. I was miserable, but I was working on losing weight (I think I was in the 280's), but I still felt like crap. I was embarassed to have people come over because it was so difficult to get off of any of our sofas. I'd have to do this rock & heave maneuver. Very unattractive. I was off soda and caffeine, and that along with other interventions, was making my Fibromyalgia much more tolerable. At that point, I was dreaming about how things could be by my fortieth birthday. It seemed so far away, and I was nervous to even want the things I was hoping for. But, guess what? I HAVE THEM. IT REALLY WORKED! I weigh less than my husband, and below 200 lbs. I can get off of sofas, or into cars, or whatever I want! The other night my husband jokingly (huh huh huh, as he'd say in French) threw me on the bed, and was shocked by the NINJA moves I made to escape his evil intents! He was quite impressed. I like,no LOVE, my life now. It's amazing to be on the other side of this. So, all you bandbabies... this will happen for you, too. IT WILL. And in retrospect, it's all fast and much simpler. Dare to dream about one year from now. I dare you.

Hello? Posting my graphic and hideous picture.

Yesterday, I ended with 1400 calories and 67 grams of protein. I have no food plans on the weekends. I let the force (aka band) guide me. I usually keep a little mental tally of calories, and I try to eat protein first, but I don't count grams. It's very flexable. Just like me (wink wink).

1 comment:

  1. Definitely keep us(or me) on this as I'm going to have major pannus issues by the time I get to goal weight. I always thought I'd just deal with the loose skin I'd get but I'm thinking more about surgery.
    You're looking so great - you're going to have an amazing 40th birthday.