Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Secret Goal Confession

Since before I even decided on being banded, I had a secret goal of being a size 12 by my fortieth birthday. Well, I turn forty on the 19th, which is now less than two weeks away, and it's not looking like I will make my goal by my actual birth date. The pants I've been wearing are a size 16, and they fit best just out of the dryer (yes, DRYER- not dried on a rack!), and they fit all weird the rest of the time. I can wear a size 14 jeans, but just because I CAN, doesn't mean I SHOULD- if you know what I mean. So, I then modified my birthday goal to just be in the 180's by my b-day. After my Christimas GAIN, I didn't even want to make the 180's a goal because I thought over five pounds in two weeks is too much a stretch (especially because I'm not working out, and that subject is next). BUT, there was a Christmas miracle today! The scale said 193! So, I'm going to be brave and confess my secret goal... I want to be in the 180's by 01-19-10.

Now, to the subject of EXERCISE. Band blogger Colleen who writes on "This time I mean it", had the ultimate exercise question. Basically, if we like to exercise, and we like the results, why don't we do it? I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I think most of us have some form of exercise that we actually like. I didn't like to move AT all at my heaviest. But, there was a time when I enjoyed running. ALOT. My body is liberal and generous with endorphins. When I was in my best shape, I was running between three and ten miles a day. After the first 1/2 mile, I would literally be floating... my mind was clear, and it was just an amazing feeling. And as equally satisfying? I was 119 lbs and a size 6 (out of the dryer size 6!), and at 5'7", that's nice and lean. So, why am I not running now that I'm at a weight where I could easily do so? Seriously, I'm ASKING. I don't know the answer to that. I really don't.

Spontaneous report: Ski date set for the 16th. But, I don't know what to wear! And, I'm not going to look cute. :(

Food report: Yesterday, I ended up with a little over 1200 calories, and 65 grams of protein. Todays menu is turkey sausage, whole wheat waffle, greek yogurt, pepper jack cheese, SmartOnes turkey w/ gravy & mashed potatoes, and of course I have no idea what's on the dinner menu. So my daytime tally is 600 calories, 47 grams of protein. I have the popcorn again, but haven't needed it. I had a really BAD episode of hypoglycemia last week (which I don't usually have unless I'm preggers, and I'M NOT pregnant), so that made me a little concerned- I had to stop to buy food on the way home because I was shaking and so sick. I've been bringing the popcorn carbs with me ever since. Anyway, that problem is hopefully completely resolved, but I'm prepared if not!


  1. Hi!! Thanks so much for mentioning me in your blog! The exercise question is a good one. I think we have all asked ourselves this question a few times! Maybe one day I will be one of those people that wakes up and suddenly LIKES exercising! One can only hope...

    I look forward to reading your blog!

  2. Happy almost-birthday!! I will hit the big 4-0 later this year as well. . yikes! :) But, it's so much better to be hitting it as a thinner, improved version of our 39 year old selves, right? That's keeping me from freaking out! :)

    Thanks for your nice comment on my blog -- and I appreciate the solidarity on the PP front!

    Best wishes,